littleredrideme

So I'm a senior in a 1000 level class. One of those filler classes that I didn't bother to take Freshman year.

It's a computer course. Computer 1000.

An example of two of the questions on the test. No, I'm serious.

8)   Write your e-mail address.

9)   If your initials were your email address, write your email address.

. . .at first I thought they were trick questions so I was the asshole who went and asked the professor. But no. Those were questions on the test.

The funny thing?

When I finished, I went outside to wait for my friend.

Cue 2 minutes later.

This guy walks out of the class and with a bang of the door, looks at me and says, "That test was fucking hard."

Yes.

I go to Kean University.

I am THISCLOSE to holding a memorial service for my car. It's dead. It's fucking dead.

I hate it.

So the Oscars last night was so completely boring that I spent the majority of the time. . . looking at ONTD. No! Updating my myspace layout which is pointless because I never go on it anyway.

Embarassing Elevator Experience: I was in the elevator at Hutch today and it was more crowded than usual. You know that strange feeling you get when you feel someone staring at you? Yeah so I felt that and I turned my head and there was this strange tall man staring, straight up staring at me. It kind of creeped me out and I did a whole 'confused head turn'.

Funny Pick Up Lines from Saturday night:
Man: *grabs N's hand as she walks by* Hey, you see this stain on my shirt?
N: *confused* Uh, yeah?
Man: Yeah, I just wanted to show you that.
N: *starting to walk away* Okay, thanks.
M: No, cause I just wanted to talk to you and I had a stain on my shirt.
N: Ookay. Cool.
M: Yeah. So my name is Joe.
N: Awesome.

Semi-cute Indian guy: *shouts* Hey it's really loud in here!
Ayme: Yeah. It is.
S: . . .Yeah. Cool.

Man: So when's your birthday?
Me: Why?
M: Just tell me.
Me: I'm a Gemini.
M: Oh, so you know all about existentialism and birth months, right?
Me: . . .Sure.
*awkward pause*
Me: Why are you trying to be all deep? You're in a bar in Hoboken listening to Blink 182.
*awkward pause*
Man: I'm so poor I can only afford Subway.
Me: . . . Cool.

Two guys trying to hit on us.
As the music blasts above us.
Ayme, thinking the music could hide her thoughts, whispers
"I'm pretty sure they're gay."
Just as the music stops.
Cue embarassed glances.

Lick your finger again.

I don't think 40 year old moms should be allowed to wear g-strings and get low to Blur. You can't booty pop to Blur. Go back home and put your kids to bed.

me: *grabs laurens boob*
bartender: hey hey whats going on over here ladies?
me: im sad cause my boobies are small
b: well little lady let me tell you something. titties are like dogs. sometimes you have the big ones like rottweilers or dalmations which are really fun to play with but then you get the cute ones like the chihauas or the cocker spaniels which are just as fun but loyal.
m: . . . okay. youre hot make out with me.

?????

my breasts are like cocker spaniels apparently. small and fun but loyal. and that was a 10 minute conversation. he said a bunch of other stuff about dogs but that was all i could remember.

also. i hate waking up and having the cotton ball feeling in your mouth.

getting home at 7 am is not ffun either. fucks up my sleep schedule.

also. wait. is there anoyther also?

um. oh. wait. no. oh yeah. ending up in brooklyn at 4 am when youre drunk and just wanna sleep and your friend is about to pee on you cause shes drunk is no fun.

but getting our cab paid for by the nice guy in the bar is fun.

i love u guys.

im tired. still a little hungover.

sleep sounds good.

for some great lolz, check this out

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/20557500.html



pure gold. pure pure gold.

intense people scare me.
why are you so intense?
did you wake up intense?
did you wake up and say to yourself, 'ooo i love computers!'?
do you make it a habit to ask "intellectually stimulating" questions?
. . . that are only really intellectually stimulating to yourself?

in other news,
stupid people make me laugh.

i went to class today dressed like a hipster lesbian.
i didnt realize i was dressed like a hipster lesbian until i passed a guy who looked like the male version of me, except with glasses.
then i looked down at what i was wearing and said. . . hipster lesbian.
he gave me a strange look because it was when i looked at him that i realized i was a hipster lesbian and im pretty sure my eyes expanded past their usual owl-size and . . . hey i cant control my eyes. they're their own peeples. . . see what i did there?

HAHA!

My new LJ account. So what if I already have one? This is my brand spankin new one, made just for crazy thoughts and commentary. If I talk about you, I'm sorry.

No really, I am.